What Are Negative Beliefs?

Written By Samantha Farid

Themes I see in my clients:

  • You’re successful on paper but exhausted internally

  • You’ve been told you’re ‘strong’ your whole life

  • You can perform, but you can’t relax

  • You understand your patterns… but can’t break them

  • Maybe you’ve even reached the point where you say “I know I have a good life, but I can’t enjoy any of it”

The common thread is not being able to enjoy the life that you’ve worked so hard to build because you’re still trapped in the negative belief system from the life you were forced to survive.

These negative beliefs often create feelings of deep shame for who we are and and an unrelenting feeling of not being good enough or deserving of good things.

Negative beliefs can prevent us from fully experiencing life in so many ways including:

  • Being our authentic selves

  • Communicating emotions, wants, and needs effectively

  • Allowing ourselves to go after our desires, and feel joy in the lives we’ve built

  • Succeeding in our career

Negative beliefs can show up as:

  • Intrusive and ruminating negative self-talk

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Toxic relationship patterns

  • Anger issues

  • Negative body image

  • Low self-esteem

  • People pleasing or taking on the caretaker role in relationships

  • Poor boundaries (too rigid or too lax)

  • Inability to feel joy or positive emotions

  • Inability to relax or always feeling “on edge”

  • The desire to be “in control” of the situation at all times

  • Infidelity

  • Self-Sabotage

  • Substance use and other compulsive coping strategies (gambling, shopping, video games, sex, “workaholic”, avoidance & so on).

Some of the more common negative beliefs I work with are:

  • “I’m not good enough”

  • “I don’t deserve good things”

  • “I’m a burden”

  • “I’m unlovable”

  • “I’m a failure”

  • “I’m not capable”

  • “I’m alone”

  • “I’m defective / there’s something wrong with me”

  • “I should have done/known better”

  • “I’m too much or too difficult”

I’ve worked with individuals from all walks of life including:

  • Law Enforcement (local, state, and federal)

  • Military

  • Foster Care

  • Substance Use & Other Behavioral Addictions

  • First Generation & Immigrant Families

  • Stay at Home Parents

  • High-Level Executives

  • Entrepreneurs.

If you’ve made it this far, trust that something in you is ready for change.

You’ve survived things you never should have had to survive.

You built an entire life while carrying things your nervous system was never meant to carry alone.

You’re not here because you’re weak—you’re here because your nervous system did what is was supposed to - survived.

Now it’s time to update the system so you can finally feel like the person that built this life instead of feeling like an imposter about to be “found out”.

Got Questions:

If you’re ready, let’s talk, schedule a free 30 minute zoom consultation to see if an EMDR Intensive in NJ might be a good fit for you. See the FAQ for information on investment.

Samantha Farid
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